Life right now is a subtle battle between getting into mental shape and hiding out, all stunned-like, on the couch. Every time I start working out, left brain, right brain, push push push, something else pops up, all whack-a-mole style, and me without my mallet.

There are sessions, and lies and drama, and a court date now for my son. And sometimes I get a headache from the crap, and sometimes I get a headache from the beauty of it all. There are many beautiful things and people in my life lately too.

Today’s headache was brought to me by some creative stuff I can’t talk about, but oh, fun while it lasted. And then someone asked me how I am, and I can’t even answer that question. So the mental workout schedule is on hold for the night, and I’ll let the muscles rest. Tomorrow is a new day, yes? A short while back, I wrote something about wanting to be a shadow. I think it fits, just for today at least.

I’d like to be a shadow,
just that shapely outer beauty
made of darkness draped in the finest weaves of light,
adding definition to the scene.

I’d live on the sunny side of the street,
reclining blamelessly on the ground
while humans chug coffee and hail taxicabs through grinding teeth.
I’d imitate their madness with delight.

Scars mean nothing to this shadow girl
and garbage hides beneath her on the ground.
She has no past, no tense, no tension headache,
no smiles to fake, no face to face.

~2013